Letting Go of the Anger

Aug 3

In This Reflection:

The complicated emotions of loving someone with a brain injury
A parent's grief after life-changing injury
Living with anger that comes in waves
Supporting a loved one through ongoing recovery
Learning to make room for hope alongside heartbreak

Letting go of the anger - how hard it is to do! It’s been almost 4 years. My daughter is my heart and someone who was supposed to have loved her - let her “suffer” alone without reaching out to us, or ask for help when he could not do anything himself. He had his own struggles, but I feel he robbed my daughter of her time with her daughter and some of her life. My daughter has a good heart and does not really look at the bad in people, but I can not help but think how “he watched a truck coming and did not push her out of the way.” As a parent, all I’ve wanted for my daughter is to be in a relationship with someone that respects her and wants what is best and will always be by her side. So, yeah, I’m angry - it was the difference between a curable condition and a permanent disability.

My daughter struggles with 24/7 migraines since her acquired BI - so she is constantly in pain -- some days are worse than others. She was a migraine sufferer before this happened, but they eventually would go away. She also walks with a walker because she feels very unbalanced, which makes it difficult for her to do anything that requires a lot of standing. She currently is doing PT and hopes one day to walk with a cane.

She is amazing! She does not let her current situation take her to a negative place. That is not to say it doesn’t bother her or that she gets down sometimes, but I feel other people would not be so positive. Like all parents, I wish I could make her life easier. She has such a good heart. Even in the midst of living with her difficulties.

I try to let go, by not dwelling on the past, but sometimes the anger comes over in waves. When those moments occur, I have to actively allow my anger to redirect.

Written by: Anonymous
Family Member of someone living with a brain injury

There may be other caregivers out there that feel the same way. It has helped me immensely when I can connect with others who have been through a similar experience.