Do You Trust Me? A Journey of Faith
In This Reflection:
Facing sudden brain trauma and uncertainty
Wrestling with fear and faith
Preparing for high-risk brain surgery
Finding peace in the unknown
Trusting God when outcomes aren’t guaranteed
Dear Brain Trauma Survivor:
You might relate that Life can be filled with comfort and ease - until it isn’t.
My carefree existence was challenged the Spring of 2011, when during a five-hour distraction-free drive to speak at a women’s Christian event, God asked me a fundamental question about our relationship. “How are you serving me if you’re doing what you want to do anyway? Do you trust me?”
Do you trust me. Four words that changed my life forever.
Three weeks after the retreat—out of nowhere—I experienced a grand mal seizure taking my ability to speak and leaving me paralyzed on my right side. An ambulance carried me to the hospital, where I had a myriad of tests, capped with an MRI. When they discovered my brain tumor, a meningioma tumor about the size of my doctor’s fist, every moment became precious.
While my paralysis slowly waned and my ability to speak returned, I was gripped with confusion. My eyes filled with tears when the doctor held my hand and shared if there was anywhere I wanted to go, anything I wanted to say, or anyone I wanted to see, I only had ten days to do it. He couldn’t guarantee I’d live through the surgery. With closed eyes, I rested back onto my ER bed and heard that beautiful voice and those familiar words, Do you trust me.
This was the beginning of my brain trauma journey.
You may be in the midst of your own brain trauma journey and are questioning if God’s mercy and grace waits ahead of you. Is it real? Can it be trusted?
Because you’re reading this, either you or a loved one is facing a trauma you never expected. Maybe it feels like your heart was ripped to shreds and you have no idea which way to go or what to believe. Or maybe you’re dealing with waves of questions. Did I cause this? Did I do something wrong?
James 1:2-4 NLT offers comfort:
“… when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
If you’re not ready to embrace the grace and mercy God has for you. I get it. He understands as well. When God whispered, Do you trust Me? during my long car ride weeks earlier, I wish I could say I answered Him with a resounding, “Yes, I trust You, no matter what.” But I didn’t.
Little did I know I would soon face the worst experience of my life. I only had ten days to know—really know—that I could rest. With my situation resting safely in God’s hands. During what could have been my last ten days, I sought God in everything I did. And in my seeking, I found peace.
Your situation, whatever it is, is not beyond God’s control. It can be trusted in God’s hand as well.
Written by: Robin Luftig
Person living with a brain injury
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This reflection shares a season when my life changed suddenly through a brain tumor diagnosis. In the uncertainty leading up to surgery, I wrestled deeply with fear and faith. I share this story for anyone navigating brain trauma and wondering where God is in the middle of it.
